Pretending
by MyFrenzy
Summary: I’ll pretend this isn’t hurting me; I’ll pretend that I’m not dying when you touch her; I’ll pretend I’m happy for you; I’ll pretend I’m her friend; I’ll pretend I’m not in love with you; but you can’t ask me to pretend not to pretend. NILEY. REQUEST. OS.


_This was requested by **underaged** and I hope I lived up to her expectations.  
I'm not a fan of Niley but I think this came out pretty good.  
Do you have a request? PM me and whatever couple you want, I'll make a oneshot for you. It doesn't matter if I do or do not support the couple.  
It's all good. :) ENJOY._

_--_

_Pretending_

_--_

_you make it hard to smile because_

_you make it hard to breathe_

_--_

I'm standing here in the church and I'm thinking about all the times we spent together and how it seems unimportant to him. I'm a bridesmaid and I'm supposed to be smiling and I'm supposed to be gloating about how beautiful she looks but I can't because she does look beautiful but he looks even better and my heart hurts and I'll try not to cry.

He's standing at the altar looking nervous and not once glancing at me and I want to go up there and kiss him but no, because I promised him that I'd be good and we are friends now and he doesn't love me the way he loves her; the way I love him.

I'll let a few tears slip when she comes, pretending they're happy tears but only I'll know that those are rueful tears, regretful tears. The crowd is murmuring and the press is here and for once they're not here for Hannah Montana, they're here for Nick Lucas of JONAS's wedding with Alex Russo, soon to be Alex Lucas.

It hurts too much so I stop looking at Nick and tell myself to let him go, to pretend that I'm happy and I plaster a smile on my face and Mitchie next to me grins and starts chattering about how beautiful Alex will look and I agree—because why lie? She did look beautiful when we were helping her get ready and once she walks down that aisle she'll look even more beautiful and that's why Nick chose her.

So I'll pretend not to care. But as I glance at Nick I can see he's looking at me and he can see that I'm pretending but what hurts me the most is that he's happy I am.

--

When Alex walked down the aisle she looked as beautiful as predicted and Nick looked so happy I couldn't say anything and I won't now that I'm sitting at the reception in the bridesmaid's table. Mitchie is talking excitedly as the maid of honor and she keeps gloating about how cute a couple Nick and Alex make and I smile forcefully and nod once in a while.

I stand up after a while and excuse myself to the restroom. I'm going to try not to cry but I don't think I can and as I hurry to the restroom guess who I bump into?

I look up and I suppress a groan. Nick, looking as handsome as ever is standing in front of me with worried eyes and I want to punch him because he's not supposed to be worried about me in his stupid wedding day!

I smile slightly at him. "Congratulations," I tell him. "I'm happy for you." I lie. He nods, still looking at me suspiciously and he bites his lip and I hold my breath, ready for anything he has to say to me.

"Are you okay?" he finally whispers and I want to scream at him if I look okay because I'm not but I'm too nice to say it so I shake my head, and then I nod.

"Of course I am," I say cheerfully. "Why wouldn't I be? One of my best friends just got married." Of course I'm referring to Alex but Nick thinks I'm referring to him but he'll never be my best friend again, not after everything he's put me through.

He smiles at me and my heart beats faster. "Well, it's Alex," he says, and of course it's Alex he doesn't have to remind me! But I can't blame her because she has no idea of what happened between that. I nod and grin.

"It is," I agree, and then I ask him if he's happy. He tells me he's elated and I tell him that that's good but I want to yell at him to lie to me—lie that he's not happy and he'd rather be with me than with her.

He looks at me and frowns. "Stop it." He says simply. I look at him expectantly.

"Stop what?" I ask him, not understanding. He sighs.

"Stop pretending," he tells me, and I start getting angry as he continues speaking. "Or at least pretend you're not pretending, because you're not a very good liar."

And gape at him and I want to slap him but I won't so I take a deep breath and make my voice deep and forceful. "Look Nick," I tell him and he looks at me and for the first time his eyes look sad. "I'll pretend this isn't hurting me; I'll pretend that I'm not dying when you touch her; I'll pretend I'm happy for you; I'll pretend I'm her friend; I'll pretend I'm not in love with you; but you can't ask me to pretend not to pretend," I spit. "Because pretending is the only way I can get through this." I look straight in his eyes and he seems to be on the verge of tears.

"I love you," he murmurs, and I gape and finally I can't take it and I slap him and I notice we're in a quiet corner and no one can see what's happening.

He looks at me, shocked. "What the hell?" he hisses, and I laugh humorlessly.

"You can't tell me that," I tell him. "You can love me, Nick; but you'll always love her more and I can't live with that." I speak his words and he knows it and he looks frustrated and before I know it his lips are pressed to mine in a passionate kiss.

I can't break it because I like it and if I break it I'll die and I have to have this, Alex will have it for the rest of her life but I'll only have Nick once more and I'm melting in his touch and he moans and I moan and we're together as one and I can feel his love for me being transferred into the kiss.

His hands are on the small of my back and he's so into the kiss but I have to break it damn it, we're at his wedding.

I push him away and look around and notice no one even saw a thing, so I look at him with tears in my eyes. "What the hell is you problem?" I whisper/yell. "Do you like to make me suffer?!"

He shakes his head and puts his hand to my cheek but I slap it away. "I hate it," he mutters. "But I love you so much, Miley. I love you and I think I'll always love you and I know I love Alex too but you were my first love and it's kind of hard to forget your first love," he's crying now and I feel stupid and weak. "But I won't give up Alex. Because I'll always love her a little bit more." He presses his lips to mine once more and I don't do anything to stop him. "But I love you, Miley. Too much."

He runs a hand through his hair, and without another word, he leaves.

I bite my lip and cry my eyes out, then I run to the restroom to retouch my make up.

Because I'm going to have to pretend once again; pretend that he never kissed me and he doesn't love me.

Because of course, pretending is now my life.

_--_

_why do you do this to me?_

_why do you do this so easily?_

_--_


End file.
